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Thursday, Oct 28, 2021

Bill “Thunder” Underwood to replace Waka Flocka Flame at Bearstock

Bill “Thunder” Underwood and the 2nd Street Band are set to replace Waka Flocka Flame at Bearstock after an accident in Mercer Village.

Waka Flocka Flame was hit by a black Porsche as he crossed the street, but the Porsche didn’t stop and was never found. Waka Flocka suffered from a broken leg which is keeping him from performing.

Underwood, president of Mercer University, said that he and his band would be happy to fill the gap.

“Although the accident was unfortunate, I look forward to performing in front of my students and looking down on them from the stage,” Underwood said.

Bill “Thunder” Underwood and the 2nd Street Band has Underwood as lead singer with Larry Brumley, the senior vice president for Marketing and Communications and chief of staff, on bass.

Doug Pearson, the dean of students, is playing the tambourine while Scott Davis, the provost, assists on the drums.

“I love the members of my band,” Underwood said. “They are like bulldogs that I can release if anyone says bad things about me. They always have my back.”

When asked what Brumley thought about playing at Bearstock, he said, “No comment.”

“I’m excited the students know that we enjoy goofing off, and I look forward to showing them my mad skills with a tambourine,” Pearson said in an email because his schedule was full.

When Davis was approached for a comment, he looked confused and then walked the other way.

Waka Flocka Flame said he is disappointed that he will not be able to perform for Bearstock, but he is more concerned with the police finding the person who hit him.

“I swear it was a big man in that small car, but no one will believe me,” Waka Flocka said with fear in his eyes. “He was just too big for the car.”

Waka Flocka said his recovery will take some time, but he looks forward to performing again.

“Maybe next year I can perform at Bearstock,” Waka Flocka said. “I’m glad they could find someone really big with a black Porsche to fill my position.”

Bill “Thunder” Underwood and the 2nd Street Band practice every night, and Underwood said they would definitely be ready to perform for Bearstock.

“We were made for this,” Underwood said. “We were always ready to shine.”

Bearstock will take place on April 8, and Bill “Thunder” Underwood and the 2nd Street Band will perform with DJ Mustard in Hawkins Arena at the After Dark event.

“We deserve to play at the After Dark event because we are so talented and have such a unique sound,” Underwood said.

After Dark will begin after the day event ends at 6 p.m. The event will move from Tattnall Square Park during the day to Hawkins Arena at night.

Underwood said Bearstock is going to be a night that people will never forget.

“They will always remember me standing on stage, looking out over the sea of my people, leading them into a better world of music and complete obedience,” Underwood said.


Note: This is a satirical piece produced by the Cluster team in honor of April Fool's day. Thanks for reading.


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