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Wednesday, Sep 22, 2021

Thieves grab Nutella off truck

Last issue, while I was looking around for various articles to be opinionated about, I happened upon an article from the UK about children throwing pancakes at each other. I was slightly taken aback by the triviality of the article, but thought it was entertaining so I wrote something about it.
This week, I came across a similar trivial article and now I really wonder what kind of content is deemed newsworthy. I’m not sure if I’m looking at articles that are equivalent to our local news stories that we see on late night local television, but I feel like there are more hard-hitting news stories to cover.
Of course, I’m not really one to judge since I’m writing about them, but still. There seems to be some sort of disconnect between what is considered newsworthy, and something you would see on Ridiculousness. I found a story about robbers stealing Nutella off of a truck. One of the original sources was CBC news which I didn’t recognize, but another source was The New York Times. The story isn’t very long, but it’s still really bizarre.
According to the Times, the culprits took the Nutella from a parked trailer in the central German town of Bad Hersfeld. The amount stolen was worth an estimate 16,000 Euros or roughly $20,700. I would hope that they stole this much Nutella for resale value, because while there is a lot you can do with Nutella; there isn’t THAT much you can do. I’ve made a few Nutella cupcakes in my day, but these robbers don’t really sound like the type.
A German news agency reported that the thieves have previously stolen energy drinks from the same location. With that piece of information, I can only wonder if they have some sort of shop that they are trying to stock. Plus, why haven’t they been caught yet?
It’s stories like these that really make me wonder what the motivation was for stealing that much stuff. If they don’t have some sort of way to resale the stuff, I start picturing those extreme couponers that go out and buy a bunch of stuff that they just hoard until the apocalypse.
I imagine the people who stole the Nutella and energy drinks were all just sitting around in a garage one day, the walls lined with bottles of sports drinks and bags of potato chips. One of them stands up and says, “hey guys, do you know what would be a really great idea? We should go out to Bad Hersfeld and steal five tons of Nutella. Sven, do you have your pick-up?”
Of course, that is me just being ridiculous. But in all seriousness, there wasn’t much to this story that I could find online.
There were no specific details with the exception of how much was stolen. So from there, I take creative liberty and hypothesis the motivation for the crime.
Honestly, the whole scenario seems like the beginning of a really bad movie.


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