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Monday, Mar 4, 2024
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Opinion: An open letter to my Bear Card

This is an opinion article. Any views expressed belong solely to the author and are not representative of The Cluster.

Dear Bear Card,

I am really sorry my Android offended you. I’m not sure what it did to you to not deserve your company, but I feel my Android's sorrow through its curved screen.

Is it just because bears really like fruit and thus you chose the fruit-themed mobile appliance? Having a robot theme is too much technology for you to handle?

Or is it that you do not like the green message boxes that ruin cleverly named iMessage group chats? My Android is thinking of several cleverly-named group chats for being ignored by you right now.

Is it the issues that it has with photo compression? I promise that it will not compress your beautiful bear card display of my freshman year picture that will follow me for the rest of my life.

Is it because my Android has a headphone jack? I assure you, you will not be impaled when I plug my headphones in.

Is it because I prefer having a navigation bar with three buttons to the iPhone's single home button? I know three buttons can be a little confusing, but I am sure you can figure it out.

My phone has desperately tried to channel its inner Bear Card these past few years with a stick-on wallet. I guess it will have to live one more year in a dollar store wallet, being pressed up against credit cards and real IDs, than live as zeroes and ones on my device for eternity.

On the bright side, I will not have to worry about being able to get into a campus building if my lovely Android is dead, unlike some of the Apple models. I can also get my favorite meal at Chick-Fil-A with a dead phone, assuming I have money and Chick-Fil-A has chicken, which can both be large assumptions.

In all seriousness, I understand that programming an iPhone vs. everything else can be incredibly difficult. I do wish these versions could have come out at the same time so that my Android could finally channel its inner "Go Bears!"

A neglected Android user


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