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(04/25/12 7:27pm)
Wedding Toasts
Q) My best friend is getting married, and he has asked me to be his best man. That means I am going to have to make a toast at the reception. I’ve never done that before. Help, please!
A) Toasts are nothing more than a short speech lasting approximately two to three minutes. Traditionally, the best man makes the first toast at the reception once everyone has been seated for the meal, or served a drink at a cocktails-only reception. Your toast is made to the bride and groom.
To help you present an entertaining and heartfelt toast, you should write it out ahead of time and practice, practice, practice. If you are able, go to the reception venue beforehand and practice at the site. You will feel more comfortable in your surroundings at the big event. To give your toast, stand up and make sure that everyone’s glass is full before you begin. If you feel you need to use cue cards, then do so, but keep them as discreet as possible. If there is a microphone available, it is best to use it.
When making your toast, make eye contact with the bride and groom. State your relationship to the happy couple so that everyone in the room knows who you are. Keep your speech clean so as not to offend anyone, and do not say anything that will embarrass the bridal couple. You do not want to talk about past relationships, for example.
Toasts are expected to be humorous, but be considerate and only use tasteful anecdotes. How the bride and groom met is always a good choice, along with how you met them, if you are not related.
Since you know you will have to give a toast, do NOT get drunk. A glass of champagne or a mixed drink is acceptable. But, no one wants to endure someone making a fool out of themselves with slurred speech, not to mention insulting the bridal couple and everyone in attendance.
Try to end on a serious but positive note. Good wishes for the happy couple or a blessing for their long life together would be suitable. Do not end your toast with a negative like, “Hope we don’t see you in divorce court!”
Follow these tips and you will be the second brightest star at the wedding!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(04/11/12 7:44pm)
Q) I want to make a good impression on my boss in the first big sales meeting I will be attending. What should I do? How should I act?
A) To begin, you want to “look the part.” You should dress appropriately for any business situation, but it sounds like this is an important meeting. A dark, conservative suit, clean and pressed, with a freshly laundered white shirt, and a nice tie with matching pocket square would be warranted for gentlemen. Polished shoes and socks with no holes are also mandatory. Clean hair and nails go without saying. For ladies, a dark suit with perfect hosiery and close-toed shoes are the proper attire. Keep aftershave and perfume subtle.
Do not be late for the meeting. Arrive five to ten minutes early, and use the time to network with other attendees, and also to visit the restroom.
Be respectful of others in the meeting. Turn off your cell phone, or if you are expecting a VERY important call, then keep it on vibrate. You should also at least let the meeting’s host, if not all attendees, know that you might have to take a call. If the call comes in, leave the room to answer it. Also, do not get up and leave the room and return repeatedly.
If called on to contribute, do not monopolize the meeting. Let others have their turn. When others are speaking, don’t interrupt them. Raise your hand if you have to speak again, and don’t talk over anyone. While someone else is speaking, don’t lean over and whisper to the person next to you. It is rude to everyone in the room. Also, don’t divulge confidential information unless all attendees are on a need-to-know basis.
Something else you should do is to be neat. Use only the space on the table in front of you that is the width of your chair. Don’t spread out your papers all over. Keep your belongings tidy and in good order.
Even if the building allows it, don’t smoke. It may offend others.
If there is food service, eat quietly. Sip your drink silently, and don’t slurp. If there is a buffet table in the room, don’t keep going back for food. Simply practice moderation. Get what you want before the meeting begins.
Follow this advice, work hard, do your best, and your boss will remember you kindly when promotion time comes around!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(03/28/12 8:12pm)
Q) I’ve just graduated college and have landed my first full-time job. I’m really nervous since I’ve never worked in an office before. What should I do? How should I act?
A) You want to start out on the right foot, so be polite to everyone you meet. Companies want team players. Don’t walk into a new office situation and act like you are running the place. Be observant and learn the culture. Your time will come to make your mark.
Show respect to everyone. You should do this anyway, no matter where you are, but be polite to coworkers, subordinates, superiors, clients and visitors. A simple “please” and “thank you” go a long way.
Watch your language. Don’t swear, yell, or interrupt people when they are speaking. Also, do not insult or be condescending to anyone. No one likes a rude loud mouth.
Be neat and tidy, and keep yourself and your work area clean. CareerBuilder.com did a study of employers’ criteria for promoting someone. On the list was the fact that an employee who had a messy office was not considered as worthy of a promotion as someone who was neat and tidy.
Do not trespass in someone else’s office. Stay out of their space unless you are invited in.
Listen twice as much as you talk, and don’t spend all day socializing. You are getting paid to work. Arrive early in the morning and visit over the first cup of coffee, if you must.
Never, ever gossip. It is guaranteed to come back around and get you in the end.
Keep your boss informed. Quietly go about your business, and let your boss know what you are doing without fanfare.
Write concise, but polite, e-mails. Only include necessary facts and information. Proof them before they go out, and don’t use smiley faces.
Always return phone calls promptly. Change your voice mail message if you are going to be out of the office for any length of time to reflect that fact.
Finally, it’s a business, not home. Don’t get too chummy. Keep things on a professional level.
Follow this advice, do your work to the best of your ability, and you will be treated like a superstar!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(03/14/12 8:21pm)
Q) I recently started a new job where I will be traveling for business, for the first time, to a conference. What should I do to make the trip a success?
A) First, research your destination. Know where you are going before you get there. You will be less stressed when you arrive. Make arrangements in advance. Arrange with someone at your destination to provide what you will need: conference room, A/V equipment, copies of documents, food service, etc. Follow up a day ahead to make sure your needs will be met.
When flying, do not recline your seat more than a couple of inches. It makes it very difficult for the person behind you to get out of their seat. Also, do not keep getting up and down and climbing over the person(s) next to you.
If you are traveling with others and will have a roommate at the hotel, you should consider only half the space in the room as yours. Assuming there are two beds, decide when you first arrive who will sleep in which one. Use only half the room’s facilities: keep your things on one side of the closet; use only half the drawers in the dresser; use only half the bathroom counter space. Do not leave clothes on the floor; don’t hang up rinsed underwear in the bathroom; don’t stay up late watching TV or talking on the phone; don’t borrow anything; and, DO NOT come in drunk. Respect your roommate. Keep your things neat and tidy.
If you go out to eat with a co-worker, decide ahead of time who will pay the bill. If you are going out with a subordinate, pick up the tab.
Be considerate when traveling in groups. Don’t smoke or use foul language, and be flexible. Participate in what others want to do. Don’t be the self-appointed tour guide and monopolize everyone’s personal time.
Say thank you. Send thank you notes to anyone who helped you while you were on the road: the hotel administrative person who set up the meeting; the front desk clerk who resolved your reservation problem, etc.
Tip well. Always tip service personnel who did a good job: the airport porter who checked your bags; the hotel front door man and bellhop who helped you with all your luggage, etc.
Finally, keep good records. Save receipts and submit your expenses to the company as soon as you return from a trip. Your accounting department will appreciate it and reimburse you faster.
Just remember, being polite pays off no matter where you are!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(02/22/12 9:01pm)
Q) I’m falling behind in my English Lit class, and found a number of sources online where I can buy term papers. Is it okay to do this to help me out in a bind? A) I think you probably already know the answer to your question, and it is a definite NO. Not only could you get caught and face a failing grade, suspension, or even expulsion, but more importantly, you are not learning anything. Honest behavior is not what you do, it is who you are and part of your moral composition. It affects every aspect of your life and of those around you. Whether you live at home with your parents or are out on your own in the workforce, your ethical principles will have a profound effect everywhere you go. Let’s take it a step further than your term paper. For example, you are living at home with your parents while attending college. They co-signed the loan for your new SUV. You are working part-time, but only earning enough to make your car payments with a little left over for spending money. Your friends have decided to spend Spring Break on a Caribbean cruise. You can’t afford to go along without skipping a car payment, so you do just that and join them on the trip. Now, your parents are left with your car payment. Then, your father is suddenly laid off from work, and he cannot afford the mortgage and his own car payment, let alone yours. So, his credit rating takes a hit and your car payments fall behind, along with everything else, racking up late fees. Every decision you make and action you take has consequences. Say you are now 20 years older, and have risen through the ranks to run a large computer software company as its CEO. Your new accounting software package is selling like hot cakes, and your company is climbing the Fortune 500 list. But, you get greedy and decide you want to live in a mansion and have your own private jet. To do this, you find a way to defraud your company of large sums of money with illegal bookkeeping practices. Fast forward a year or so, and the government finds out about it. You are not only facing jail time and the destruction of your own life and family, but you are putting hundreds of your employees out of a job and wiping out their retirement savings, not to mention destroying their lives and families. This may sound a little extreme, but it has happened. It all boils down to a person’s ethics and integrity. Proper etiquette involves more than using the right fork. It encompasses practicing gentility, refined actions, respect, empathy and honesty, not unlike following the Golden Rule. So, before you take the easy way out, think about the consequences. I’m certain you will do the right thing. Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com
(02/08/12 9:18pm)
Q) I will be hosting my first business dinner in a couple of weeks, and am going to have to make a toast to a retiring executive from my company. I’ve never done this before. What should I do? A) First of all, sit down and write out what you want to say. It will allow you to give a much more heartfelt and entertaining speech. If you need to use cue cards, that’s fine but keep them small and discreet.Limit your toast to two to three minutes. Practice repeatedly ahead of time, and if you can, visit the venue where the dinner is to be held. Practicing at the site will make you feel much more comfortable at the event itself. Before dinner is served, speak with members of the audience. That way, you can focus on them as you speak for more comfort. You will actually make two toasts that evening. The first will be made before the meal is served. It welcomes the guests. For example, “I’d like to welcome all of you this evening. Bon Appetit!” The second and more formal toast recognizes the guest of honor. You will give that toast after the meal is finished and before dessert is served. Wine or champagne glasses should be refilled before you begin to speak. When making your toast, stand up straight with your feet firmly on the floor, slightly apart, and do not cross your arms. Don’t bang on your glass with silverware. Simply hold your glass in the air to get everyone’s attention. Then set your glass down for the toast. Make eye contact. Look at the guest of honor whom you are toasting. Then look around the rest of the audience and make eye contact with a few people. It will appear as though you are talking to everyone. When you are finished speaking, raise your glass again and invite everyone else to do the same. Your guests should respond by raising their glasses and taking a sip. However, do not expect your guest of honor to join in at this point. He does not take a drink when receiving the toast. Keep your toast lighthearted, warm and humorous. Include personal anecdotes and praise for the honored guest. Conclude your speech with a short and clever proverb, such as: “As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.” Good luck! Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(01/25/12 9:28pm)
Q) My cell phone is such a huge part of my life, but I’ve had complaints from people around me that I’m bothering them. What should I do and not do to use it correctly?
A) The cell phone is a wonderful invention, but you must be very aware of your surroundings to use it properly. The best advice I can give is to be considerate with common sense.
When you are out in public, whether it be on a sidewalk or in an elevator, do not shout into the phone. It is not only disturbing to those around you, but what you have to say is no one’s business besides the person on the other end. Keep your voice at a normal speaking volume. Also, keep your conversations brief, offering to call the other person back when you return to your office or home. That way, you will be in a quiet environment that is much more conducive to conversation. Never divulge confidential or private information while talking in a public place.
If you are talking while walking along the sidewalk, be wary of what is going on around you. Always practice safety first. Be careful navigating through crowds, and watch out for traffic while crossing the street. If you are driving, it is best not to use your cell phone at all. It is a proven distraction that could cost you or someone else their life. Many states have made it illegal to drive while talking on a hand-held cell phone. But, even the hands-free versions or built-in models in automobiles still draw your attention away from the roadway.
Finally, if you are going out to dine or just for cocktails, or maybe to a movie or the theater, leave the cell phone home if you can. If you must take it with you, then keep it on vibrate. If you are expecting a very important call, let everyone in your party know ahead of time. When the call comes in, excuse yourself and leave the room to take the call. Go to the restroom, the lobby, or even outside the building to talk. No one in your party needs to be interrupted, as you are being, by your phone call. Also, if someone at the next table in a restaurant is conducting a very animated and loud conversation on their cell phone that is disturbing you and your party, do not handle it yourself. Simply ask the Maitre d’ or manager to take care of the situation.
Use common sense and common courtesy with cell phones, and you will help make the world around you a slightly better place!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com
(12/07/11 11:05pm)
Q) When I’m invited out to lunch or dinner, I am never sure what to do before the meal begins ... who sits first, who orders first, etc. Can you help please?
A) It depends on whether the meal is for business or personal reasons.
Let’s begin with a business meal. If your host is waiting for you at the restaurant, they should stand to greet you and remain standing until you are seated.
If you walk in together, you should walk in ahead of your host, and they should ask you to sit down, offering you the best seat at the table, to their right, if you are the ranking guest.
If your host does not ask you to sit, wait for them to be seated before you sit down. If it is a personal dining event, you should follow the host’s lead. They will be seated first.
Once everyone is seated, place your napkin on your lap. Since you will only use your napkin to dab food particles from your mouth, you will only need to use about the top quarter of the napkin.
If you fold down the top quarter, then down again, and place the napkin on your lap with the fold to your torso, you will keep the soiled part of the napkin folded under at all times, thus protecting your body and clothing from food stains.
To use your napkin, simply unfold it, dab your mouth along the top edge, re-fold it, and place it back on your lap.
If water is on the table when you sit down, you may take a sip after everyone is seated and your napkin is on your lap.
For other drinks and food, wait until everyone has been served. Also, do not eat until your host has begun eating. When your host picks up their fork, then you may do so also.
Or, your host may simply ask everyone to start eating. Wait for your host to ask you to pass the bread basket or other tableware. When you do so, offer the food to the person sitting directly on your left, then you serve yourself, then pass the tableware to the person sitting on your right by placing it on the table as closely to their place setting as possible.
You pass tableware hand to table, table to hand.
Follow these simple common courtesies, and you will be the rising star at the dining table!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com
(11/17/11 12:44am)
Q) When I have to introduce someone to someone else, I’m never sure how to make the right kind of introduction. How should I do this?
A) First of all, a good rule of thumb to follow is to say the name of the person with the highest business or social ranking, or the oldest person, first. That way, you are introducing the lesser important person to them. For example, Jim Collins (company President), this is Alexis Graham (younger cousin).
Older age takes precedence, then social and business rankings are priorities. For instance, your college friend would be introduced to the President of a company. Or, your girlfriend would be introduced to your grandmother. But, even though your grandmother does not “out rank” the President of a company, he would be introduced to her as she is the older of the two, and her name would be spoken first.
When introducing people to each other, it is best to do so using their first and last names. Also, keep the introductions consistent. If you feel more comfortable introducing one of the people by calling them “Mr.,” then do the same for the other person: “Mr. Smith, this is Ms. Jones.” Also, if someone has a title, such as Doctor, include their title in the introductions.
If the person you are introducing has a relationship to you, make that clear by adding a phrase such as, “this is my boss,” or “this is my cousin.” If your spouse has a different last name than yours, then introduce them including their last name. Also, use the phrase “my wife” or “my husband.” For unmarried couples who are living together, “companion” and “partner” are good choices.
In a group setting, introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example, “Dr. Johnson, I’d like you to meet my friends Bill Shapiro, Mike McKay and Alexis Peabody. Everyone, this is Dr. Kurt Johnson.”
For informal introductions, use the phrase, “this is.” When more formal introductions are appropriate and warranted, such as for dignitaries, use the phrase, “may I present.”
Finally, when you are making introductions, say something about the people whom you are introducing so they may begin a conversation. Then, you may leave them graciously to make other introductions. Good luck!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(11/02/11 10:07pm)
Q) I’ve been invited to a holiday party at the home of my girlfriend’s parents. I want to make a good impression. What should I do?First, assume that your invitation ultimately came from your girlfriend’s parents. Therefore, an RSVP to them, by telephone or in person, is warranted. If you are unsure of the proper attire for the party, whether it is dressy or smart casual, ask your girlfriend what type of party her parents have planned.
A) Be certain to be on time. That is, arrive within 10 minutes of the stated start time of the party. Since the party is being held in their home, you should take a small hostess gift for your girlfriend’s mother. A box of nice chocolates or maybe a small holiday decoration would be nice. You do not want to take anything that requires her immediate attention, like fresh flowers, that she would have to leave her guests for to put in a vase. You may also take a small token of appreciation for your girlfriend’s father as well, if you like. Maybe something appropriate for his favorite hobby.
If there is a cocktail hour, as there are at most parties, hold your drink in your left hand, keeping your right hand free to greet someone with a handshake. Most hors d’oeuvres are finger foods, and should be served with a napkin. Keep the napkin wrapped around your left pinky finger, again freeing your right hand for greetings.
If alcohol is being served, and you are of legal age, drink in moderation. Do not under any circumstances get drunk. If you cannot hold your liquor, drink club soda or a soft drink. Also, if hors d’oeuvres are being passed or dinner is buffet style, do not stalk the servers or pile your plate with the main course. No one likes a glutton, and you do not want to be piggish. Use the same moderation for food as you do for drinks.
Conversations should be kept light and non-controversial. Avoid the usual topics of religion and politics. Try to stay abreast of current events by reading the newspaper and watching television news broadcasts. Keep your range of interests varied and wide so you can hold intelligent conversations with anyone.
Follow up the party with a hand-written thank you note. Send the note within no more than a day or two. A couple of sincere sentences expressing your genuine appreciation will go a long way. Have fun!
Follow Carolyn Davenport at AGraciousYou.com.
(10/19/11 11:21pm)
Q: I recently went to dinner at an upscale restaurant with my parents and their friends. I was nervous about making a faux pas while eating. I know the different pieces of silverware pretty well, but I get lost on what to use and how to use everything else on the table. Please help.
A: Congratulations on mastering the silverware. That can be quite a feat, especially for a formal place setting. The rest will just take a little practice.
Let’s begin identifying the plates. You should have a main plate in front of you. You may have a salad plate to your left, or it may be on top of your main plate. If soup is being served, the bowl may be placed on top of your main plate as well. A small bread plate will be to the upper left corner of the main plate. Your glassware will be placed directly above the knives, at the upper right corner of the main plate. The water goblet is first, to its right is the red wine glass, and to its right is the white wine glass.
Most people know that food is passed counter-clockwise, or to the right. However, most people do not pass tableware correctly. They pass plates of food, or salt and pepper shakers hand-to-hand. This is incorrect. Tableware, whether it is a plate of food, a breadbasket, or salt and pepper shakers, is passed from hand to table, then table to hand. Let’s say you are passing a breadbasket. You would take a roll or piece of bread from the basket and place it on your bread plate. Then, you would set the basket down as near to the place setting of the person sitting to your right as you can. Then, that person would take a piece of bread and place it on their bread plate, pick up the basket, and set it near the place setting of the person sitting to their right.
When the butter plate is being passed, take only one or two pats of butter and place them on your bread plate, then continue passing the butter plate counter-clockwise. You may then butter your bread or roll from the pats of butter on your bread plate.
If someone asks for the salt, and the salt and pepper shakers are nearest your place setting, always pass both at the same time, regardless of whether or not both were requested.
Sometimes, people are confused as to which pieces of the place setting belong to them, and they mistakenly use something belonging to the person sitting next to them. Do not ever point out their mistake. It was not done as an insult to you, so do not insult them in return. Simply use your main plate as an alternative, or ask your server for a replacement piece. Happy dining!
Keep up with Carolyn at www.AGraciousYou.com.
(10/05/11 9:55pm)
Q) I have been invited to two special events, and I want to make a good impression at both. One is a cocktail party for a client after work at an upscale hotel, in one of their ballrooms. The other is a holiday party at my boss’ home. My problem is that I am never sure what to wear. Please help.
A) Let’s review the client cocktail party first. Since it is after work, you have two options. If you don’t have time to go home and change, you can wear something appropriate to work and just freshen up before the party, or you can bring a change of clothes to work.
In either case, your attire should be business dress, which means a suit for both men and women. It should be dark in color and in good condition with no missing buttons, and no tears or stains. Men should have a crisp white shirt and nice tie with a matching pocket square, if possible. Skirted suits for ladies should be at least knee length. Ladies should wear a pretty blouse that coordinates with the suit.
Keep jewelry to a minimum, with no clanging bracelets or earrings. You want to be “seen and not heard.” A nice string of pearls is always chic. Keep perfume to a minimum, and have a nicely coiffed hairstyle with subdued makeup. You want to look conservatively elegant, not wildly glamorous. Close-toed shoes and hosiery are a must for ladies. Shoes for both men and women should be in good condition and polished. You won’t go wrong if you follow the “less is more” guideline. It should go without saying that in a business setting, whether in the office or out socially, body piercings other than earlobes, as well as tattoos, should never be seen.
Now for your boss’ holiday party. Hopefully, the invitation stated the dress code for the evening. If not, it is perfectly acceptable to ask your boss so you will be dressed properly for the event.
Generally speaking, holiday parties are a little dressier than at other times of the year, even when they are held in someone’s home. So for gentlemen, a dark-colored business suit would be appropriate, unless the invitation calls for formal attire, in which case a tuxedo is in order.
For ladies, the always fashionable “little black dress” would be perfect. If you prefer a brighter color, that’s fine, but keep it cocktail length for a dress, or perhaps a dressier pantsuit would be more comfortable. You may dress up your outfit with nicer jewelry, possibly a pretty broach or sparkling necklace with matching earrings. Also, hosiery with high-heeled shoes would finish your look.
(09/22/11 12:02am)
Q: I will be hosting my new boss and his wife for dinner in my home, but I’ve never set a formal table before. Please help!
A: Table settings are determined by the meal’s courses. Let’s assume your dinner will include an appetizer, soup, salad, main course and dessert.
To begin, your main plate is centered one inch from the table’s edge. You may place the appetizer dish and soup bowl on it when served. The salad plate is placed to the left, and the bread plate to the upper left, with a butter knife laid across the top rim.
To the right of the main plate, from the plate out to the right, place the dinner knife, salad knife, soupspoon, and cocktail fork (at an angle with the tines of the fork resting upside down on the bowl of the soup spoon). Matching on the left side of the plate would be, from the plate out to the left, the dinner fork and salad fork. Above the plate, the dessert fork sits closest to the plate in a horizontal position, with the tines facing up and right. Above the dessert fork is the dessertspoon, with the bowl of the spoon facing left. Silverware is used starting with the pieces farthest from the plate and working your way in to the main plate.
Beverage glasses are to the upper right of the place setting. The water goblet is placed directly above the dinner knife. To its right are the red wine glass, white wine glass and sherry glass. Above and between the water goblet and red wine glass is the champagne flute.
Finally, napkins may be placed on the main plate or to the left of the forks. If they are folded flat on the main plate, a place card may be set on them, or it may be placed above the dessert fork and spoon. You may also have a menu card above the dessert fork and spoon. Provide one salt and peppershaker per couple. Use nice tableware to serve the rolls, vegetables and dessert, along with silverware serving pieces. Lit candles in candlesticks, and a centerpiece of fresh flowers at a minimum height would look lovely. Bon Appetit!
Carolyn Davenport enjoyed a 30-year corporate career working with the top echelon of major companies, providing management support along with meeting and event planning. She was also a member of the Miss America Pageant organization. Drawing on her experience and training, she has developed etiquette classes that will help people be their best in today’s society.
(09/08/11 12:06am)
Q) I’m going out on a first date for dinner and a movie with a girl I’m really attracted to. What should I do to make her feel special?
A) First of all, be yourself. Don’t put on airs, as you will appear phony. Second, treat her as if she is a prized possession. When you arrive at her home, go up and ring the doorbell. If she is living with her parents and they answer, introduce yourself and shake hands. You should be able to make small talk while you are waiting for her. An especially nice touch would be to bring her flowers. When she is ready, present her with the flowers, shake hands again with her parents, and promise to bring her home at a decent hour (and keep your promise). Walk her to the car and step ahead to open the door for her. When she is seated, close the door, then go around and get in the driver’s side.
At the restaurant, open the car door for her and extend your hand to help her out. Once inside, hold her chair, then sit down yourself. Keep the conversation polite and non-controversial and practice proper dining etiquette. If she leaves the table, you should do a “half stand” (lifting your bottom off the seat and sitting right back down). When she returns, do a “half stand” again. Take along enough money to cover the evening’s expenses. Discreetly pay the bill, and escort her back to the car, holding open the door for her again.
At the movies, lead your date into the theater and offer to get her refreshments. When approaching your seats, lead her ahead of you to sit down, then sit next to her. You should both speak in quiet voices before the movie starts and not talk during the show. If you have cell phones, keep them turned off or on vibrate if you are expecting an important call. Should either of you need to take a call, leave the theater and go out into the lobby.
After the movie, you may stop for a cup of coffee, but watch the time and drive your date home at a decent hour. When you arrive at her home, help your date out of the car and walk her to the front door. It is up to her to ask you inside or not. Any gentleman who practices these proper dating etiquette protocols is sure to get the girl!
(08/18/11 7:31pm)
by Carolyn Davenport
Q) I just graduated college and am going on my first major corporate interview. I need help acing it.
A) You want to make a good first impression, so your dress and conduct must be impeccable. Conservative dark suits with polished shoes and good grooming are essential. Carry a briefcase or nice folder to bring along several copies of your resume.
Resumes must be perfect with no typographical errors, smudges, tears or crimped corners. Print them on good quality paper, one page long. List your education, academic accomplishments and extra curricular activities, along with part-time jobs or internships. Provide good references, asking for permission ahead of time from anyone whom you wish to act as a reference.
Research the company so you can converse intelligently with the interviewer. It shows your interest. Don’t be late! Arrive five to ten minutes early out of respect, and to relax. Call immediately if something unavoidable will delay or cause you to cancel. Turn off your cell phone, or at best put it on vibrate. If you’re expecting an important call, let your interviewer know up front. But, try to avoid taking any calls at all.
Be polite to everyone you meet at the new company. Stand up when introduced, and use a firm handshake. Sit comfortably, crossing your feet at the ankles and resting your arms on the chair arms. Smile and make eye contact. If you act self-confident, you will feel that way. Listen more than you talk. Ask questions when appropriate, and rehearse brief answers to stock questions. Be honest. With today’s background checks, dishonesty will be discovered. If you use social media, clean up your information and photographs if needed.
Employers check web sites like Facebook to see the person they are considering hiring. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you fit the bill?
After the interview, confirm the next step, “When should I follow up with you?” Send a thank you letter immediately (on paper, not email), and call when promised. If you follow these steps, and are competent in your field, you should get the job. Good luck!
Carolyn Davenport enjoyed a 30-year corporate career working with the top echelon of major companies, providing management support along with meeting and event planning. She was also a member of the Miss America Pageant organization. Drawing on her experience and training, she has developed etiquette classes that will help people be their best in today’s society.